Biographical Information for Moriah S. St. Clair
Moriah S. St. Clair is a licensed spiritual counselor, luminary
mystic, teacher, workshop leader and ordained minister with a
Ph.D. in religion. She is an engaging speaker and author of Abused
Beyond Words, 365 Empowering Ways to Move Beyond Abuse, and Rainbow
Thoughts.
She is presently working on two other books and offers numerous
lectures and courses currently available on audio cassette. Moriah
is available for private consultations and speaking engagements.
As a child, Moriah was repeatedly subjected to incest, ritual
and cult abuse, child prostitution and pornography, as well as
her own two clinical death experiences between the ages of infancy
and twelve. Her second death experience (during a cult event)
was a choice to come back and serve.
Moriah knows first-hand about this secret sub-culture of incest,
ritual, and cult activities, the practices, dynamics, suffering
it creates, and the extraordinary path to healing from it all.
Moriah S. St. Clair, Ph.D. has the unique vantage point of being
both a survivor and professional counselor. Blending the insights
gleaned from her extraordinary childhood experiences with her
extensive psychological and spiritual studies, having conducted
classes, workshops, and various speaking engagements, and having
counseled others throughout the world since 1984, Moriah has emerged
to educate with profound insight, clarity, and compassion. She
imparts wisdom and the creative means to effectively disperse
mental and emotional blocks, and to awaken awareness and expression
of one's Authentic Self. She is gifted at articulating both her
experiences and keen insights.
Moriah skillfully bridges the practical with the profound. She
is a walking testament to the courage, strength, and resiliency
of the human spirit. Moriah S. St. Clair is living proof that
healing happens. People from various walks of life come to Moriah
for private counsel with a full range of life issues to resolve—from
health issues to relationships, from old emotional and behavioral
disorders to the purpose of life, from prosperity and business
matters to seeking understanding of the esoteric. Moriah uses
her clairvoyant, clairaudient and other spiritual gifts to facilitate
people through their obstacles to a place of peace, clarity, and
wholeness.
Moriah works with survivors of abuse and other severe traumas.
She has miraculous methods of helping people kick illicit and
prescription drug habits and to detox virtually pain and hallucinatory
free — even from opium. Many of her clients are psychologists
and ministers. Moriah assists them in their personal lives as
well as troubleshoots the core issues of their more difficult
patients. She also works long distance with clients throughout
the world and has worked and traveled in Tibet, Japan, China,
India, Thailand, Indonesia, and Europe. Moriah has been featured
on television and radio, as well as in magazine and newspaper
articles.
She has presented at conferences on the subject of abuse and
in addition to her own books, has written articles for various
magazines. Moriah S. St. Clair will be the keynote speaker for
the 2001 Voices in Action International Conference and will present
two workshops there as well. Product Information of Books and
Audio Cassettes Produced by Moriah S. St. Clair Books: 365 Empowering
Ways to Move Beyond Abuse is full of healing tips for overcoming
anger, sadness, depression, fear, stress, overwhelm, emptiness,
abandonment, triggers, memories, suicidal urges, guilt, shame,
addictions and dissociation.
This book includes tips for boosting self-esteem, enjoying sex,
healing step-by-step, cultivating compassion and reclaiming your
True Self. $9.95 128 pages ISBN 1-892268-04-3 Abused Beyond Words
is the definitive book on healing from incest, rape, ritual and
cult abuse, as well as many other traumas.
You need not have been abused to experience positive life changes
from these 467 pages. Available in soft cover for $24.95 ( ISBN
1-892268-01-9) and hard cover for $39.95 (ISBN 1-892268-02-7)
Audio Cassettes: ( All cassettes are $14.95 each ) (#C100) HEALING
FROM ABUSE: KEY STEPS ALONG THE EMOTIONAL CONTINUUM creatively
maps out the various emotional states, how to get unstuck from
them and be empowered by your True Self. (90 min) (#C200) D.I.D./MULTIPLE
PERSONALITIES: HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM FROM A PLACE OF ONENESS focuses
on both the problem and solutions (75min) (#C300)DEALING WITH
DISSOCIATION EFFECTIVELY offers 4 categories of over 50 healing
techniques. (#B101) BRIDGING SPIRITUALITY & PSYCHOLOGY addresses
many issues including the purpose of life and the importance of
dealing with feelings along the path to reclaiming your True Self.
(90 Min) (#B102) CULTIVATING COMPASSION contains great methods
for deepening and centering in your heart with acceptance and
non-judgment. (90 Min)
Ordering information: Call toll free: 1-877-PUP-1010 or
visit our website at: www.PathwaysUnited.com The Why of Abuse
and How to Heal from It: Touching the Heart of the Matter with
Compassion by Moriah S. St. Clair While it is being experienced,
abuse that may last minutes or hours feels eternal -- as if it
will never end. Yet the actual time involved in the events of
abuse is rather short relative to the length of time it takes
to heal from the abuse and all of its many ramifications. Therefore,
in this article we will briefly touch upon the whys of abuse and
then focus most of our attention on how to heal from such suffering.
To a degree, analysis and understanding of why things happened
have their place in our healing process. They give our minds a
new framework from which to perceive ourselves, others, and the
world with greater clarity. Yet to come home to the heart of compassion
-- the place of true transformation -- we must turn those analytical,
circular, never-ending "whys" into being truly wise so that those
questions no longer distract us from healing our hearts and reclaiming
our spirit to live joyous, enriching and purposeful lives. It
is important to distill the wisdom that comes of our experience
without clinging to it as our identity. As we learn to center
in our hearts, we cultivate compassion for ourselves and all others.
We come to realize that while our life stories and conduct might
initially seem quite different from one another, we are all much
the same underneath. We laugh; we cry; we get mad when things
do not turn out as we planned; we want to love and be loved; and
at some point in our lives we all try to figure out why we are
here on this planet and then live from that knowingness.
To survive, anyone who has been abused will develop a mind that
is ladened with beliefs, decisions and defenses based on the abuse
-- not based on who they truly are or the trust, love and innocence
that they lived from prior to the abuse. These latter qualities
are not mental constructs, they are natural states of the heart.
Therefore we must go to our hearts, not our heads, to reclaim
them. We must decide that we want to live out the rest of our
lives from who we truly are at the loving core of our hearts rather
than who we or others think we are based on outwardly imposed
abusive acts.
Abuse is not anyone's real foundation. It is a perpetrator's
false perception of reality that has invaded our physical, emotional,
mental, and spiritual space. Knowing that abuse is not our true
nature we can oust that negative, false energy as well as our
painful reactions to it. We can reclaim our peace-based power
and have genuine control over our lives. Healing is possible,
so is happiness. It is often said that people abuse others because
of their own control and power issues.
But what are they really trying to control? Why are they seeking
power by disempowering others? What is the actual condition that
creates this seeming need for power and control? To find the answers
to these questions we must go to the heart of the matter -- literally.
Again, it is the heart that has the answers. Misuse of power,
controlling others, and inflicting harm are symptoms, not the
causes of abusive behavior. The real source is in the unacknowledged
and unresolved suffering in the hearts of the perpetrators. They
are unable to face their own suffering let alone have compassion
for their own dilemma. They are so pained that they do anything
and everything possible to mask it. In the process, they cover
over that spark of loving light that is at the core of every human
heart. As they layer over their hearts with denial of their own
pain they get angry and distant from their true selves. They lose
sight of their guiding light, conscience, life purpose, and divine
inspiration.
They are out of touch with their genuine feelings and instead
feel empty and dead inside. They go numb. They lose contact with
their own life-force and like dead batteries, seek and need jump-starts
from external sources of power to keep on going. They seek stimulation
from substances, pornographic images, and abuse of people. They
play out a sense of triumphant control over their own inner emotional
chaos by attempting to control the emotional states of others
-- first through arousing emotional reactions in others and then
through suppressing them. They disempower others to experience
a temporary sense of power within themselves. Essentially abusers
are doing two things simultaneously. They are using the active
emotional energy of others to awaken the deadened senses in their
hearts. And because what they awaken is their own unresolved pain
which they do not have healthy tools to handle, they misuse their
authority and power to control their victims in an attempt to
project into the world a sense of control over their own tumultuous
and pained emotions. So it is actually the inability to cope with
the pain in their hearts, from whatever circumstance, that causes
an abuser to harm others.
Those who have been abused will also perpetuate this same dynamic
to one degree or another if they have not resolved their own suffering.
This is why the words ring so true in the song, "Let there be
peace on Earth and let it begin with me." So how do we begin to
create peace and compassion inside when so much pain and anger
has been generated by abuse from the outside? There are many essential
keys to healing. Some of them require tangible action; others
are more about cultivating or resonating with a perspective or
state of mind and heart -- all will help you to unlock the peace
and power of the true you. Rather than re-inventing the healing
wheel I have included the first chapter of a healing tips book
which I have written.
The book is entitled, 365 Empowering Ways to Move Beyond Abuse.
This first chapter lists 26 healing steps or concepts which are
fundamental to transforming experiences of suffering into a joyful,
meaningful life. The rest of the book is designed so that you
can skip around to specific chapters to find tips that will help
resolve various emotional states that you will encounter throughout
your healing process. For example, if you were feeling angry one
day or depressed another, you could go to that specific subject
chapter title and find several techniques to cope with or move
through that specific feeling. To acquire this book or other works
which I have written or are on audio cassette, please see the
ordering information area of this website. For now, lets get a
clear overview of how to heal from abuse.
1 Commit to healing and moving beyond. Commitment propels you
into action. It supports you with courage, strength, and stamina
during rough times.It guarantees your success.
2 Acknowledge your abuse experience. You must first own what
did happen before you can let it go. People who were not there
have no right to deny your experience. People who were there and
were abusive or were afraid to do anything to stop it are often
too invested in maintaining the secret to tell the truth. Therefore
it is up to you to acknowledge what happened.
3 Talk about your abuse experiences to willing listeners who
are understanding, supportive, and compassionate. This will help
you diffuse the pressure and emotional charge of having to hold
it all by yourself. Communicate with a therapist, friend, clergyman,
someone from a social services agency, co-participant in a peer-support
group or an Internet chat room designed to support survivors.
4 Acknowledge your feelings. Considering the abuse that you experienced,
it is perfectly natural for you to feel a range of feelings and
different ones at different times. You may feel angry, enraged,
sad, fearful, depressed, overwhelmed, betrayed, hopeless, disappointed,
untrusting, needy, powerless, abandoned, lonely, empty, numb or
feel nothing by being in denial of your pain. Emotions and feelings
need acknowledgment and expression before their energies can be
transformed into what you truly want to experience in life.
5 Release your emotions.This will help you to let go of the past
and cope better in the present. You may need to indulge your emotions
for a while to offset the suppression of them in early life. Then
learn to manage them in a healthy way. In addition to therapy
and talking to friends, there are many safe ways to surface and
release your emotions. For example, imagine your abuser in a chair
and say what you need to say to him or her. Or you can do an art
project (even if you do not think that you are creative) to express
how you feel. Scribble on a big pad using the colors you feel.
Make a sculpture out of clay, then release your anger onto it
by pounding it. Use a journal to write poetry, a letter to your
abuser or dialogue with a specific part of yourself.
6 Realize that it takes more energy to hold on than to let go.
Our resistance makes us feel tight and tired. Holding on is a
way of avoiding the feelings that lay underneath. It actually
creates more pain and strain. Letting go frees your energy to
create and do what you want to do now.
7 Redirect any displaced emotion or judgment back to where it
belongs.Rather than having general or global thoughts and feelings
such as being mad at the whole world or all men or all of your
family, ask yourself, “Who or what am I specifically or disappointed
by or mad at?” Focusing in this way will help you acknowledge
the source of your upset and help you feel justified in releasing
it.
8 Build tolerance to your feelings and the feelings of others.
The more you feel and express your feelings, the more comfortable
you will be with them. Over time you will then expand and balance
the range of feelings that you experience.
9 Reduce your overwhelm. Overwhelm is a signal that there are
many emotions inside that you have not fully released. Ask yourself,
“If I were not feeling overwhelmed right now, what would I be
feeling instead?” This will generate awareness and expression
of the specific feeling that really has been pressuring you. Deal
with that one feeling.
10 Focus on one thing or one small part of an experience at a
time. This will reduce your sense of overwhelm and make what you
are facing feel more manageable so that you can work with it.
You will feel a sense of accomplishment as you successfully face
or resolve each piece.
11 Give back the abusers’ energy—their rage, hurt, shame, denial,
etc. As children and victims we tend to absorb the emotions from
the abusers that they were not willing to feel themselves. By
giving them back, you will feel lighter and be able to cope with
your own emotional energy much better.
12 Acknowledge the decisions and beliefs which you developed
out of your experience. At the time of the abuse you may have
subconsciously or consciously made generalized decisions about
yourself, men, women, the world, God, sex, touch, groups of people,
and many other categories in order to protect yourself from future
abuse. By owning your beliefs as your own decisions, you can realize
that you have the power to re-evaluate and release beliefs that
no longer support you. You then have the power to make new, healthy
choices for yourself.
13 Acknowledge the impact of the abuse on your life. By seeing
where the abuse and surrounding circumstances of the past affect
you now, you can take charge to diffuse or disconnect those old
issues and feelings from the truth of the present. 14 Know that
revisiting a memory, thought, or feeling is not backsliding. You
are actually experiencing a
nother aspect or deeper level of the same issue. It is natural
to deepen in awareness and perspective as you cultivate tolerance
for more of the experience.
15 Detach your identity from the abusive acts. How you were treated
is not the same as who you are. There is no point in holding on
to that which is not the truth of your being. Repeat this statement
to yourself often, “I am NOT my abuser’s actions. I am who I am.”
16 Decide the following: You can make new choices and let go
of beliefs that no longer serve you. You don’t need to let your
abusers win by sabotaging your life now. Accept that it is YOUR
life and you are in charge now.
17 Think kind thoughts of yourself. It is not supportive to judge
or compare yourself to others. No one else has had your exact
set of experiences, so their lives and responses will be different.
Set achievable standards for yourself that do not pressure you.
Consider all that you have overcome. Look at what you have achieved,
what you give, and how you truly are. Positive thoughts will lift
your spirits and strengthen your healing process.
18 Be gentle with yourself. You need to give yourself time and
room to deal with issues from the past as well as the present.
Give yourself nurturing experiences. You DO deserve them.
19 Acknowledge other aspects of your being. You are more than
an abuse survivor. You have other interests, talents, relationships,
work, a spiritual nature, contributions to the lives of others
as well as your survivor skills. This awareness will bring balance
and perspective to your life.
20 Cultivate compassion toward others and your inner child. In
this way you can both assist others and transfer that ability
back toward yourself. Think of someone you love right now. Shine
loving light toward them. Feel that love. Now see yourself and
shine that love toward you.
21 Let go and grieve your past experience when you are ready.
Let go by grieving your childhood, your experiences, your old
way of being, and potentials that have not yet blossomed. This
will free up a lot of energy so that you can live more joyfully
in the present rather than carrying around a dark cloud or heavy
heart for the rest of your life.
22 Let your grief pour out without judgment or reprisal. Grief
is facing your loss and allowing your feelings to be acknowledged
and released. They will come out in layers in direct relationship
to the supportiveness of your environment and the sense of security
and trust you feel within. We must grieve our perceived loss before
peace can be found.
23 Be patient with your healing process. Impatience signals that
you are not wanting to be in the present situation or with your
feelings or thoughts. Therefore patience yields acceptance.
24 Take all the time you need to heal. How much time? As much
time as it takes for you. No one else can decide that for you.
Everyone’s set of experiences has its own unique combination of
particular acts, duration, frequency, intensity, and responses
to them. In addition, the circumstances surrounding the abuse
may vary greatly. Did you live with the abuser(s)? Did you live
with or know other victims? Did other adults protect you? Did
they neglect your signals that something was wrong? Was the abuse
very violent or sadistic? Did you suppress memories of the abuse
in order to cope? No two people’s situations are exactly alike.
Trust your own heart and soul’s timetable.
25 Get the message, lesson or awareness from the situation. Ask
yourself what knowledge, strength, talent, skill, perspective
or way of being are you to be aware of and cultivate as a result
of dealing with your abuse experiences.
26 Act in accord with your new awareness. Anchor your understanding
in your daily life. Integrate your new awareness so that it becomes
an active part of your life now. Clearly we must honor our own
healing process and take responsibility to create the changes
in our lives that will bring us peace and joy now. If we wait
for abusers and non-offending sideliners to admit to what they
have done or to transform their consciousness in order for us
to be happy, we may wait for a very long time. But we can do something
to help ourselves transform right now. We can take the first step:
commit to healing and moving on. Break your bonds with abuse.
Decide to discover and express who you truly are in this world
-- not what others wrongly projected onto you. Cultivate compassion.
It will help you soothe and heal your wounds. Compassion will
help you release your grief so that you will no longer be weighed
down by your past. Compassion will free you to move forward in
your life. To quote from page 411 of my first book, Abused Beyond
Words, “Healing requires courage, clarity, patience, tolerance,
and willingness to let go of our current perspective to make way
for peace and joy. At times along the healing journey we may think
that we do not possess the qualities or abilities that will transform
us. And yet, it just may be that our personal trials and adversities
exist for us to realize and call forth from within us the very
qualities we once thought that we never could have.” I wish you
great success along your healing journey -- it awaits you and
the resources to attain it are already within you. Trust yourself!
With Blessings, Moriah S. St. Clair Various portions of this article
have been excerpted by permission of the author, Moriah S. St.
Clair, from her copyrighted material solely for the purposes of
this M.A.S.A. Internet article. Permission to copy or reproduce
in any form all or any part of this article may only be done so
through express written permission of its author. Copyright 2000,
Moriah S. St. Clair
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